In summer on my birthday I got beautiful red roses from Ted and it was a surprise for me. I was very happy! It sounds so great Ted sent flowers from the states! In same moment we told with Ted on computer and I told me how I am happy with his present. These flowers were long time and I didn't want through away when they died because they remind me about Ted.
After summer I began to think seriously about visit to Ted. He also had already strong wish to see me this time. I didn't know about all events in his life but later when I knew many things became to be understandable for me. I was jealous and after few conversations with him we decided he will not tell me about his women even I will ask him about this. And how I knew then he had many secrets from me. I don't know may be it was right, because if I knew truth I never came to visit him. I understood he is live person and can have some sexy relationships but even this thought was unpleasant for me, I don't know why I decided he should be only mine.
I wanted to visit new country but also I had strong wish to see Ted and I didn't know what I wanted more. I still continued to communicate with some people in interenet but after Ted they weren't interesting for me. I was disappointed in them very fast. Everybody wanted only to have more my pics or to have sexy conversations. I didn't want that and understood to have such conversation is more excited with man which you know and like. For me it was Ted. My Theodore Earl St.Mane! How often I pronounce this name!
Online I prefer him many men who wanted to talk with me, for me he was number 1. I got used to think about him every day, there wasn't any day when I didn't remember about him. I still was married and he became my second pleasant life, my virtual love. I understood we can't be together I have family, good family. I never didn't love my husband but he was good as father of my kids and we had good home. I lived without love but I had quiet good life. It was afraid to think what could happened if we will fall in love with Ted in real life. This thought bothered him also because we didn't see way to be together. We lived in different countries with different cultures and languages and so far from each other. I didn't know what I will find in the states if I will fly to the Ted. I was ready to be disappointed with him but I hoped we could be good friends if not lovers. But all our conversations were very close we will be lovers, we wanted each other although didn't see each other in real life. I remember Ted's expression: "What do you consider unpossible for our meeting in real life? Distance? Money? No…all depends from wish of people"
