When the first month came to an end, I found myself in a dark and narrow place again, with my brothers and sisters beside me. We heard the doors slamming; then there came some noise and rumbling, and then the slamming of the doors again. We were sitting all squashed together and unanimously decided that if we were going to be born again, we would refuse, because we didn’t want to go through this again. But soon my brother and my sister were pulled out, and I was left alone. I was sick of this darkness and afraid that they might have forgotten about me. There was more of that door slamming, noise and rumbling; I was carelessly swayed from side to side. At last, it became quiet and the thing I was inside of was put on the floor. I could tell that because it smelled of linoleum and a little bit of dust. Something squeaked; there was light and the hands of a stranger pulled me outside to give freedom. The owner of these hands kissed me on the nose and put on the floor. I had a strange feeling that I became owned by someone. And at the same time I felt strong awareness that I wanted to go pee. Not being able to resist it, I made a small puddle on the floor and jumped aside. The girl who had kissed my nose laughed and wiped up the puddle.
It was Wednesday, the Christmas Eve of 1988. And even now, sniffing at the floor, I can find the place where I made the puddle on the day of meeting my mistress.
-2-
I wasn’t able to sleep for the first three nights. I was lying on a hot-water bottle, with a plush teddy-bear beside me, trying to be brave. But at night a strange and unfamiliar room merged into scaring darkness; I was afraid of it and cried. Then she would take me in her arms and walk around the room. She would take me in her bed and I fell asleep, feeling the warmth of her arms. I felt her arms around me when I was sleeping, and nothing could scare me any more.
She gave me food six times a day, but I was always hungry. I was growing. When I became ten weeks old, she gave me a collar and a lead. I was a pedigree dog. But she didn’t care about that; she would have loved me even if I hadn’t got a pedigree after my birth. She gave me the red collar that smelled of leather and said that we were going to a puppy show. I had no idea what it was, but I would have gone with her to the back of beyond, because even then she had already become my mistress.
She had been preparing for this journey for the whole day and was very anxious. A taxi arrived at night; being too nervous, she forgot her bag with the minced meat that had been prepared for me. She grabbed me and ran out. It was warm and unusual in the taxi. There was an awful smell. It was my first experience of going by car, and I was sick. I had already seen snow – I was walked every day. I had already tried champagne – on the New Year Eve she put her glass on the floor and went to open the door, and I drank a little. I knew who the Zubenkos were because they came every day to play with me. But I had no idea what a car was like or how it smelled. When we got out of it, I was really happy. I sniffed at the snow and pulled my new lead really hard, running to and fro along the place they called a platform. Then she took me in her arms and carried into a carriage, in a closet that was funnily named
