Wheeling up the street, I saw that the house was ablaze with lights. My heart kicked. Something was wrong. Maddie. Tom. I dropped the bike on the drive and raced in. Into the kitchen. The smell of take-away. Wrappers strewn across the table. Lager cans. An overflowing ashtray.
Clive was back.
I put my bike away, then turned out the lights and crept upstairs to the bathroom. I had a pee, washed my hands and face and brushed my teeth as quietly as possible. I couldn’t face him now. Crawled into bed. The bass on his hi-fi thumped steadily above me. Turn it down, turn it down. It seemed to go on for ever. I lay tense and angry, close to tears. It’s not fair, I whispered, it’s just not fair.
Day-break. I was cold. No matter how I pulled the duvet round me, my insides were shivering. My mouth began to water. I reached the toilet just in time, retched until my stomach was empty. My skin felt raw all over as though I’d been peeled.
I filled a hot water bottle. Went and made a cup of peppermint tea. It was six-thirty. The rain had stopped. Clouds gone. The morning sun streamed into the kitchen. I put the cans and take-away wrappers in the bin, gagging at the smells. Settled in the armchair. Digger came and lay at my feet. I was honoured.
What did I really have to do? Visit the Hobbs’. It could wait a day. At seven, Ray and the kids emerged. Maddie and Tom were amused at us both being there so early. I sat huddled in the chair while they had a lively breakfast. Once they’d left for school, I topped up my water bottle and went back to bed.
I was woken by the doorbell. Ringing persistently. I fumbled for my dressing gown, struggled into it then discovered it was inside out. It’d have to do. I fell down the last stair – my body didn’t work on automatic anymore – and cracked my funny bone on the banister.
When I opened the front door, the light made me wince. Jackie Dobson was on the doorstep.
‘Sal, you look awful.’
‘Bug.’
‘This came yesterday.’ She waved a white envelope. ‘I meant to drop it in, then Jessica fell off the bunks and I forgot all about it till tea-time. Then, what with swimming lessons and…’ The fact that Jackie could deal with a full-time job plus four daughters and still manage to forward a letter, was nothing short of a miracle as far as I was concerned.
“S alright. Thanks. I was in bed.’
‘You get back there,’ she said. ‘There’s a lot of it about at the moment.’
