* * *
My sister called, and I told her I had one of those “eight-hour things that’s been going all around.”
“Are you sure it’s only an “eight-hour thing”?” she asked. “It could be the “24-hour bug”[160] Harold had last week. Do you have any fever?”
“A little — maybe 100.”
“That’s the “24-hour bug” for sure. Drink lots of fluids and take aspirin, and you’ll be able to shake it off.”
I really hadn’t counted on staying in bed for 24 hours, but it’s stupid to fight a bug. My other sister called up 10 minutes later. “Edith says you’ve got a 24-hour bug.”
“I don’t know if it’s a bug or just a cold.”
“Is your nose red from blowing it?”
“Yah, sure it is. Why do you ask?”
“Then you don’t have a “24-hour bug.” You have a “48-hour virus”.”
“My secretary said all I had was an “eight-hour thing.” How come you moved it up to 48 hours?”
“The “eight-hour thing” is entirely different. You feel funny but your nose doesn’t get red when you blow it. The “24-hour bug” has all the symptoms of the “eight-hour” one, except that you cough a lot. The “48-hour virus” makes you sneeze, cough and perspire while you’re sleeping. You have to stay in bed for two days.”
“But I can’t stay in bed for two days.”
“Look,” my sister said. “If you don’t want medical advice, don’t ask me.”
I think I might have been all right except that my secretary told Healy I was home with the flu.
