Лев игрив, леопард на забавы горазд,
Но пойди и пойми кто из вас кому даст,
Ты понравишься блохам, ложась на кровать,
Только с ежиком ты не пытайся играть.
Бегемот всем хорош, если ты не внизу,
И пираньи приятны, когда бы не зубы,
Грызуны хороши — их в аллеях полно,
Только ежику, падле такой, все равно.
С крабом трудно, ведь зад его в панцирь сокрыт,
Надо сбоку войти и направо вкрутить,
И до берега можно успеть кайф словить,
Только ежика даже и так не пробить.
Можешь ты бабуина попробовать вздуть,
Но следи, чтоб не начал он бить себя в грудь,
Можно много зверей для забавы найти,
Но коль ежика встретишь — его пропусти.
Всем, кто любит зады всех лесов и равнин,
Мой совет очень прост, да к тому ж он один,
Если вдруг вам приспичит войти в чью-то жо…
Никогда, НИКОГДА не играйте с ежом!
Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all animals, you can have ball
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They'll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The result I think you'll find will appall:
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Mounting a horse can often be fun
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
The spines on his back are so awful thick
you'll end up with naught but a painful prick.
He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo
Will be entertaining to both her and you
Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
(So here's to the hedgehog, he's sharp as they come
You'll never get through his impregnable bum
With his nose up his arsehole and rolled in a ball
The hedgehog can never be buggered at all)
A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill
It's amazing how humping a camel will thrill
You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.
