be more money.’
Yet nobody ever said it aloud. The whisper was everywhere, and therefore no one spoke it. Just as no one ever says: ‘We are breathing!’ in spite of the fact that breath is coming and going all the time.
‘Mother!’ said the boy Paul one day. ‘Why don’t we keep a car of our own? Why do we always use uncle’s, or else a taxi?’
‘Because we’re the poor members of the family,’ said the mother.
‘But why are we, mother?’
‘Well — I suppose,’ she said slowly and bitterly, ‘it’s because your father has no luck.’
The boy was silent for some time.
‘Is luck money, mother?’ he asked, rather timidly.
‘No, Paul! Not quite. It’s what causes you to have money.’
‘Oh!’ said Paul vaguely. ‘I thought when Uncle Oscar said filthy lucker, it meant money.’
‘Filthy lucre does mean money,’ said the mother. ‘But it’s lucre, not luck.’
‘Oh!’ said the boy. ‘Then what is luck, mother?’
‘It’s what causes you to have money. If you’re lucky you have money. That’s why it’s better to be born lucky than rich. If you’re rich, you may lose your money. But if you’re lucky, you will always get more money.’
‘Oh! Will you! And is father not lucky?’
‘Very unlucky, I should say,’ she said bitterly.
The boy watched her with unsure eyes.
‘Why?’ he asked.
‘I don’t know. Nobody ever knows why one person is lucky and another unlucky.’
‘Don’t they? Nobody at all? Does nobody know?’
‘Perhaps God! But He never tells.’
‘He ought to, then. And aren’t you lucky either, mother?’
‘I can’t be, if I married an unlucky husband.’
‘But by yourself, aren’t you?’
‘I used to think I was, before I married. Now I think I am very unlucky indeed.’
‘Why?’
‘Well — never mind! Perhaps I’m not really,’ she said.
The child looked at her, to see if she meant it. But he saw, by the lines of her mouth, that she was only trying to hide something from him.
‘Well, anyhow,’ he said stoutly, ‘I’m a lucky person.’
‘Why?’ said his mother, with a sudden laugh.
He stared at her. He didn’t even know why he had said it.
‘God told me,’ he asserted, brazening it out.
‘I hope He did, dear!’ she said, again with a laugh, but rather bitter.
‘He did, mother!’
‘Excellent!’ said the mother, using one of her husband’s exclamations.
The boy saw she did not believe him; or rather, that she paid no attention to his assertion. This angered him somewhere, and made him want to compel her attention.
He went off by himself, vaguely, in a childish way, seeking for the clue to ‘luck’. Absorbed, taking no heed of other people, he went about with a sort of stealth, seeking inwardly for luck. He wanted luck, he wanted it, he wanted it. When the two girls were playing dolls, in the nursery, he would sit on his big rocking-horse, charging madly into space, with a frenzy that made the little girls peer at him uneasily. Wildly the horse careered, the waving dark hair of the boy tossed, his eyes had a strange glare in them. The little girls dared not speak to him.
