I looked at her, mystified. She didn’t say anything and for a moment again hid her face in her hands before she continued.
‘You see – I no longer have just myself to think about.’
It started to dawn on me what she meant. And the picture was clear as soon as she patted her tummy gently.
‘Magdalon has three children, but leaves behind four. Another one will be born just before Christmas,’ she said, very quietly.
All life and sound in the room seemed to stop for few seconds. Synnøve Jensen shed a few tears and then dried them with a whispered apology.
In the meantime, I thought about the consequences of this sensational news. It took perhaps half a minute before I asked whether he had known. She nodded in answer.
‘I had no idea what to do when I found out, and had thought of saying nothing for as long as possible. But Magdalon guessed himself – it was Sunday, exactly a week ago. He had come to know me very well and was good at noticing things. And I could not lie when he asked if I was expecting a baby. I was terrified that he would be furious. But not at all. ‘Ha!’ was all he said at first. Which was what he often said when he saw or understood something that pleased him. Then he asked if I was absolutely certain that he was the father of the child. I told him the truth, that there was no doubt whatsoever. For the past few months I had been working for him literally night and day. He was the only man who had shared my bed, not only in the past year but in all the years before that. This made him very happy and he was in an excellent mood. He laughed, hugged me and said that I need not worry – he would make sure that both I and the child had everything we needed.’
She stopped there, hesitant, until I prompted her to continue.
‘But then…’
She gave a bewildered shrug.
‘But then he said nothing more about it! I trusted what he had said, and did not want to nag. And strangely enough, he did not mention it all week. And now he is dead and I have no idea what is going to happen to me or our child!’
Synnøve Jensen looked mournful for a few seconds, with tears in her eyes, but then she continued.
‘Believe it or not, I did try to warn him that it might all result in a child. But he said there was no danger of that, that he could no longer have children with any woman. He seemed irritated when he said it, so I asked no questions. I was so afraid that he might get angry. But he seemed to be happy, even though making mistakes or incurring unexpected costs were not something he generally liked. So I chose to believe that he loved me and that he wanted to have our child. It is a thought that will comfort me tonight.’
