I nodded and said that the words had been carefully chosen. Fortunately he accepted without further question that it was I who had composed the announcement.
‘So I am the person who visited Leonard Schelderup late yesterday evening. We had agreed a few days earlier that I would come. I did call him earlier in the day to say that perhaps it would be better if I didn’t come, given the situation. He said that he felt cornered and that he needed to talk to me. So I went as agreed, despite the additional risk that it now entailed. I cared a lot for Leo. More than for anyone else in the world.’
He said the latter very quietly indeed. I gave an appreciative nod and lowered my voice too when I replied.
‘Then it is undoubtedly your hair and fingerprints that were found in the flat, and in the bedroom. Is that right?’
He gave a tiny nod. Even though we were sitting on our own, at a safe distance from the few staff and customers who were there, his voice was almost a whisper when he answered.
‘Yes. But not a lot happened there yesterday. We lay with our arms around each other; that was it. Leo needed intimacy more than anything, and was too nervous and tense to do any more.’
Again I gave an understanding nod, as if we were discussing the football results. A couple of new, younger, customers who had just come in pointed, or rather, waved at us. The man I was talking to gave a friendly wave back.
‘That is quite usual, and really rather nice,’ he explained in a whisper. ‘Both Leo and I were quite comfortable with our fame. But of course our already peculiar double life was all the more peculiar because of it. It was very odd at times, in the midst of our joy, to know the fear of rejection and what the reaction might be if our secret got out.’
‘And how long had this been going on?’
‘We have known each other for five years, but have only had secret trysts at his flat for the past seven months. We had met relatively frequently in various connections before we dared to admit it, even though we both felt more and more certain. In the end it was I who had to take the initiative, by dropping in at his place uninvited. He was extremely careful in public, more cautious than most. But he was all the more affectionate when I then came to him.’
It was easy to imagine the situation and I saw no reason to ask for more details.
‘Since then, things have developed as quickly as secrecy permits. Our happiness within the confines of his flat was in stark contrast to our increasing fear and paranoia outside. I think it was even worse for Leo than for me. He was terrified of how his family would react if the truth came out, especially his conservative and more than slightly tyrannical old man.’
