‘Don’t let me keep you, Jake. I’d hate to sabotage young love…’
‘You’re right, I’d better go. Take care of yourself, Helen.’
He leant in and kissed her once more, this time giving her a brief hug with it. She responded, but felt a sharp and sudden stab of sadness as she did so. This felt very much like Jake finally cutting loose.
She watched him return to his date and hung around for another ten minutes, not wanting Jake to think he’d driven her out by his presence. But as soon as he and his boyfriend were once more engaged in happy, tactile conversation, Helen slipped out into the night.
Walking back to the flat, she reflected on her strange evening. She had gone to the bar seeking solace, but had found something else instead. She had the strange feeling that her life was changing for ever, moving past her in a way that she could neither prevent nor control. Worse still was the fact that Jake’s happiness made her miserable. She pushed the thought away – it was so unpleasant to feel sad about someone else’s joy and yet there it was. Deny it though she might, the truth was that she had never felt so alone as she did tonight.
Blog post by firstpersonsingular.
Wednesday, 9 December, 23.30
More bullshit today. Where do these people get off? With their half-arsed statements and brain-dead journalism. Why does everything have to end up being a fucking soap opera?
Know what I mean?!?☹☹☹☹
She could have written about anything. She could have written about it. But instead she wrote about them. Not many pictures of the fire and even those were blurred. It’s not hard, people…
Lots of pictures of the dad though. And his poor ickle son. So brave. Both of them. Really. I mean it.
They may have suffered, but here’s the thing. At least someone cares. At least their pain registers.
You must know what I mean. And before you dismiss me as just another troll, think about it.
Because it’s not the pain that matters. It’s the context of that pain. Do you follow?
People give a shit. The dad. The son. Even the crispy sister. They’ve lost their momma, their anchor/rock/mainstay (delete as appropriate), but they’ve got each other. In a fucked-up way, they’re closer now than they ever were.
So before you expend all your sympathy on them, think. Do they need it? Do they want it? No, they have everything right there in their tight little family.
They are the lucky ones. I’ve been alone from the moment I was conceived.
