Pop Goes the Weasel | страница 29

It hadn’t always been that way of course. For the first year of their association, she had told him nothing, despite his numerous attempts to open up a conversation. But recent events had changed all that – dominators read the papers too. Thankfully, he was too professional to mention it. He was tempted to, she sensed that, but he knew how much she had suffered, how much she loathed the exposure. So he kept his counsel.

This was Helen’s space. A place where she could be the closed book she used to be. A throwback to a time when her life was under control. If she hadn’t been happy then, she had nevertheless been at peace. And peace was what she craved now. It was a risk coming here for sure – many other coppers had been driven out of the Force in disgrace because of their ‘unconventional’ lifestyles – but it was a risk Helen was prepared to take.

She stripped off her biking leathers, then removed her suit and blouse, hanging them up on the expensive hangers in Jake’s wardrobe. Slipping off her shoes, she was now just in her underwear. Already she could feel her body relaxing. Jake had his back to her – his usual, discreet self – but Helen knew he wanted to look at her. She liked that – it made her feel good – she wanted him to look at her. But you can’t have it both ways. Privacy and intimacy are mutually exclusive.

Closing her eyes, Helen waited for him to strike. Finally on the cusp of release, dark thoughts suddenly reared up unbidden, surprising and unsettling her. Thoughts of Marianne and Charlie, of the people she’d hurt and betrayed, the damage she’d done – the damage she was still doing.

Jake brought the crop firmly down on her back. Then again, harder. He paused as Helen’s body reacted to the blows, then just as she began to relax, he whipped her again. Helen felt the sharp spasm of pain dissipate into an all-over tingling. Her heart was pumping, her headache receding, the endorphins pulsing round her brain. Her dark thoughts were in full flight now – punishment as always her saviour. As Jake brought the crop down for the fourth time, Helen realized that, for the first time in days, she felt truly relaxed. And more than that, she felt happy.

He had left his wedding ring on. As he turned the steering wheel, manoeuvring the car over Redbridge Causeway, he caught sight of the gold band nestling on his fourth finger. He cursed himself – he was still bloody green at this. Looking up, he noticed that she had clocked his discomfort.