Pop Goes the Weasel | страница 127

The truth was that he was still buzzing. He and Melissa had made love twice more before he eventually left. The plod on the door looked at the thick file under his arm and seemed to buy that he had been diligently taking Melissa’s testimony all the while. Tony felt another pulse of shame; not only had he betrayed Nicola, he had betrayed his colleagues too. He had always been a good copper, where had this sudden fall from grace come from?

He knew where. Of course he did. He’d tried for so long to tell himself that his life with Nicola was the norm. That it was ok. He often told enquiring friends that he had married for life and that if these were the cards that they’d been dealt, then that was fine by him. But it wasn’t and never had been. Not because he wanted more, but because Nicola had been so much more.

She had opened up everything for him. Whereas he came from a family of nomadic low achievers, she came from a family that was successful, cultured and driven. Whatever she did – whether in work or play – she did with utter determination, a will to succeed and a real sense of fun. And he missed her. He really, really missed her. Romantically she was impulsive and surprising, sexually she had been imaginative and mischievous, and emotionally she was always so giving. She could give him nothing of that now, and though he berated himself for thinking she was turning into his friend, that was the bitter truth of it. She would never be a burden, but she might be something less than his wife.

This, he had always thought, was the real betrayal. But what about Melissa then? This was something new, something dangerous. It was crazy but he already had feelings for her. It couldn’t be love because he’d only just met her, but it felt like something similar. Having been starved of love and affection for so long, he was now overdosing on it.

And he didn’t want to stop.

Helen stood stock still, barely able to breathe.

The first signs of trouble had come with repeated calls to Helen’s mobile from Southampton Central’s media liaison unit, flagging repeated attempts by the Mail to get access to Helen. Then the same again from Hampshire Police HQ and this time it was the editor of the Mail who had called. There was confusion all round – media liaison had assumed it was to do with their current investigation into the killings in Southampton, but actually they wanted to talk to Helen about someone called Robert Stonehill.